Astrid & Her Amazing “Baby’s 1st X-Mas” – Adventure

Baby Astrid celebrated her first Christmas in the UK this year. It all started with the Secret Santa-game at work.

Astrid’s Team-Meeting

Boss: "Okay people, let's pull the strings!"
Astrid: "Astrid wants to have socks for X-Mas."
Boss: "Okay, is everyone ready?"
Astrid: "No, wait, what do you do if you pull yourself? Do you buy socks?"
Boss: "Yes, you buy socks."



So Astrid pulled herself and bought herself five pairs of socks exactly to her taste and in the perfect size as well.



After that weeks of extremely hard work at LEGO followed. Some customers' bad tempers even made Astrid lose her smile for a little while, but then there were some customers who also managed to broaden Astrid’s smile, like this customer:



“Hey LEGO folks, it is with deepest sadness that I write you this email. We purchased a LEGO advent calendar because quite frankly chocolate, as fun as it is, can't beat the fun of opening up something to make every day! However, imagine our shock today to open number twelve only to find the same model as we had in number eight. So that’s it.... due to this trauma Christmas has now been cancelled and we're going to be spending some time in counseling to get over it. The turkey has been released back into the wild (slightly worried about its well being quite frankly as its only a breast joint). We've had to call Tiny Tim and let him know that there'll be no presents for him this year, and even the sprouts have been binned and won't get to fulfill their destiny...... I'm sure you can appreciate this is a very sad time for us. That said, I'm sure in time we can get over this and will only grow stronger in the process. Right, now I have to find a use for the stuffing balls! Kind regards, XXX”



And then Monday, it was finally X-Mas and as soon as Astrid was capable of getting out of bed, she ran towards the tree to open up all her X-Mas cards which she had placed underneath the tree in the weeks before X-Mas and felt immensely loved! Then she went over to Terrifying Tom’s family (who are less terrifying than Tom) to celebrate X-Mas the English way!



Within no time, Astrid felt extremely high, as her diet of the day mostly existed of alcoholic beverages (champagne, ice-wine, vodka) and treats (mince pies, cookies of crazy Irish ladies, chocolates, Christmas-pudding). So it was nothing but giggles all day for Astrid, unlike her neighbor who got slightly frustrated by some innocent children:



And may I point out to you that Astrid’s neighbor is not a proud owner of a baby!

Tuesday was just a very lazy X-Mas day where baby Astrid went out for a stroll and discovered a shop where Miss Santa or Miss Santa Wanna-Bes should go on a shopping-spree:



Special price for special you!

So that was Astrid's X-Mas this year. I am curious to Astrid's next X-Mas which will be put on a hold until next year.

Astrid & Her Amazing “Can You Skate An Eight?” – Adventure

Can you skate an eight? Astrid cannot.



She can do a one on a good day, possibly a seven on a day in March, but an eight? No Astrid cannot do an eight, even if she washes her knees with lavender-scented soap.



So how do you then wow the crowd? Good question.



Astrid does it by skating around and around and then unintentionally continuously keep on bumping into the same person; accidentally the one with the most hideous sweater on the ice, nearly forcing this person to draw a circle with a crayon around him to protect him from Astrid’s evil-doings on the ice.



A glass of mulled wine and a little mince pie won’t help the hideous sweater-man getting rid of bumper car Astrid, but housemate Richard says that a bagel without a hole (in his world known as a “bungle”) might just do the trick. Quite a few times Richard ate a bungle topped with an overload of honey and Astrid would just not get near him.



Astrid also had some issues with wowing the crowd at a service of carols and readings for Christmas which she attended quite recently. Why did the songs have to contain so many difficult words and why had no one ever informed Astrid on how to pronounce these words and why does Astrid have to be so loud? More mulled wine and little mince pies here, please.

Astrid & Her Amazing Other People's Adventures

This week, Astrid’s house was packed with people and stories to tell, coz the house was inhabited by one housemate too many and was a visited by a fair amount of visitors as well.



Yes, Frivolous Fran had made her grande entrée at the home a few weeks earlier, but Restless Richard returned to the home for a few days as well. And our Thomas the Train-Engine and his good company should not be forgotten either.



Each of the housemates is always responsible for their own set of adventures. It is housemate Tom who leaves the television on when he goes to bed and nearly gave Astrid a heart-attack the following day when she opened her bedroom-door and for a little while imagined herself in a saloon with lots of shooting going on!



It is Frivolous Fran who knew to update Astrid on how the Northerners dance, but Astrid still needs a follow-up-course on that one! It has something to do with pulling up your right leg and then shaking your leg or something!



It is Restless Richard who went traveling through Africa for over a month and just lived nothing but the wildest adventures:



“I spent 2 days travelling and camping in the mountains of Tanzania to finally get here so I am pretty knackered. It is getting hotter and dryer and the midday sun is a killer. There are snakes and scorpions a plenty, but the worst thing is the gigantic sized bugs which look like they could eat you.. not to mention ants the size of elephants.”



“Last night we all got absolutely plastered on a hash cake that our driver bought. Apologies if this email isn’t the most inspiring...! The night before we had a punch party which was very messy. We had to buy an outfit from a local market for less than 500 Kwatcha so we all looked like absolute twats!”



“We attempted to get to Blantyre in Malawi but we got half way there to find
the roads were all washed out. We got bogged in some god awful village and it went down hill from there. We got out luckily and had to head for Lilongwe (the capital). Got there late at night and then headed for the Mozambique border at first light. There were more washed out roads and political interference which resulted in us being told to camp in 'no mans land' the lawless 1km between borders. We would have been dead meat. Somehow we bribed our way into Mozambique but had to do a bush camp (find a flat patch of land and set up tents.). Mozambique is riddled with land mines so this was very very scary. We couldn’t venture outside the circle of tents, and stress levels were very high. We got our asses out of Mozambique and into Zimbabwe pretty quick so it has meant a lot of time on the road with little sleep and digging a hole for a toilet.”

And those were just a few! Is anyone still interested in Astrid’s Adventures?


Well, the other day Astrid was in a train which was just as packed as Astrid’s house this week. All seats were taken. One was even taken by this massive big smelling dirty-looking drooling dog (cute in its own unique way!), so Astrid decided to not force herself on someone’s lap and to remain standing for a while. However, the owner of the dog insisted on Astrid squeezing herself next to her and the dog. Astrid politely waved and said it was okay and she was happy to remain standing, but no the message was clear, it was: “Sit, Astrid, sit.” So Astrid did.

Astrid & Her Amazing “Coolest Kid on the Block” - Adventure

Astrid currently feels like the coolest kid on the block with her new totally smashing lights on her bike. They come in the colors red and white; not in red and green, as one would expect around this time of year.



Both lights were given to Astrid by Fran. Frivolous Fran, that is, or the BRAND-NEW housemate!!! Yes, that’s right, we have said our goodbyes to housemate Richard who has left the mansion to explore the world and welcomed Fran to the mansion with a good and spicy Indian meal, like any new housemate should receive if they contribute to the house by buying family-sized-packs of toilet-paper.



Luckily for Astrid, this meal did not fight with the food Astrid had eaten the night before. The plan had been to go to a Lebanese restaurant where Astrid and her friends had intended to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack all night long in between duck-egg-blue-colored, and with a dash of lemon-yellow-colored, interior. However, plans were changed and eventually, Astrid and her friends winded up in an Italian restaurant where they were served free Italian Vodka which tasted like watermelon and which made Astrid and her friends burp all night long.



Then a pub was visited where the waitress at the end of the evening came over to check whether Astrid or her mates had not accidentally forgotten their signed Barry Marrilow-record. Before they could say either yes, no, MAYBE, or hallelujah, a girl came running in, nearly in tears over the loss of her precious record.



Then doorways were visited where one had to go to the door and inform the bouncer that Trisha had said that it would be okay if Astrid and her friends would join her party. Trisha winded up having invited way more people to her private party than her cellar could handle, so Astrid and her friends were forced to move over to a place named “Thirst,” which was even tinier than Alice (in Wonderland) in her tiniest version. It did not stop Astrid and her party of six to have an endless amount of fun though!



New words and phrases added to Astrid’s vocabulary during these merry times: Pizza Boscaiola, lush, Hot Toddy, to have a butcher’s, the join-me cult, …